Kokotel Bangkok SurawongKoko Mate Room

A small flight of stairs accompanied by a steep slope for luggages at its side leads you straight to 4 Sher by Kokotel (Kokotel’s Café). At first glance, the front desk reception is indistinguishable from the café counter. But check-in is to your left, and food orders to the right. The ground floor boasts a high ceiling where black tungsten lamps hung overhead. Tall glass panels sequestered the heat and humidity of the streets and facilitates an inundation of natural light into the café. The wooden parquet flooring and furniture gives the place a rustic, undeniable charm. But the most endearing feature is the beckoning, winding blue slide tucked at the corner of the compound.

The second storey is a playroom for kids. The blue slide starts here and ends at the ground level. There is a small Theater Room for adults, in case they get bored of watching their kids grow up.

You receive two keycards and a slip of paper containing wifi details during check-in. The process was quick and painless, but there was no introduction to surrounding attractions in the area. No maps, no brochures. The receptionist walked us into a small lobby next to the counter. It doubled as a holding area for luggages but it was spacious enough for non-complex manoeuvres like walking in circles. The lift operates with capacitive touch sensors so sheep were not allowed in. Human skin will work, although I speculated the legitimacy of my physical existence—whether it is but a mere binomial nomenclature—when the system failed to detect my fingerprints on many occasions.

Room 77, a twin-bed room is one of the 40 room Kokotel Bangkok Surawong offers. The rest being Koko Solo (single-bed), Koko Couple (double-beds), Koko Family and Koko Party, for 3 and 4 friends or family members respectively. Room 77 comprises of two halves.

The first half sports concrete-flooring; it serves as both a hallway or corridor and changing room. The toilet and bathroom—individual cubicles—are separated by a tall frosted-glass. While both cubicles have the same dimensions, taking a dump with the door smack on your forehead made me feel incredibly constipat—I meant confined. Or claustrophobic. The toilet roll is not at the side. To reach it, perform a simple 45 degrees body twist and stretch your arm across your body. A few steps from the toilet are two folding luggage racks. Toiletries are on wooden shelves by the sink, right beside the shower cubicle. The sink is in front of the entrance, where the keycard slot and the Do Not Disturb and Make Up (room) goes.

The other half is an absolutely gorgeous bedroom but with an oily, waxed wooden parquet flooring. The greasiness was likely procured from condensation from the air-conditioning or bathroom. Some other amenities include: a 40-inch wall-mounted HDTV, a mini-fridge, and a wardrobe with a safe deposit box, Kokotel-branded umbrellas and a full-body mirror as its sliding door.

In congruence with the theme of Kokotel, two sheep origamis topped the white linens, and in the background, a wall mural of 4 blue sheep. The sheets were fresh, the duvet tucked neatly. Beneath the premium-quality bedding, the hollow steel bed frame shakes slightly and creaks when you roll at night. Power sockets and USB-charging ports were strategically-placed on both sides of the bed, right above the mini bedside-tables. Each switch controls different lights in the room. A wooden bench with a long, stained cushion sits right beside the window. I flipped the cushion upside down because it looked dirty. Take note that not all rooms have this (bench) configuration. Windows cannot be opened; the view was fine but most of the time blackout curtains were drawn for privacy as the room faces a private multi-storey carpark. At the end of the bench is an uneven wooden table with two drawers and a hollow middle secured to the wall.

All things considered, the room was commodious and modern. Same for the wardrobe. The air-conditioner does not run off a central cooling system, which means that you have total control. Engage away. Just remember to look out for a green LED light which indicates that the unit is actually turned on. Relative to some of the better hotel chains, there was a good selection of television programmes. You have to request for certain amenities like a water boiler. But act fast because they do not carry enough for every room.

Now for gripes. For wifi, forget about their wifi. Get a 4G Thailand SIM Card. You would have to connect to their (Kokotel) SSID, wait for a portal/webpage to appear, login in with your unique user ID and password specified on a piece of paper provided during check-in, wait for authentication, only to receive slow internet speeds. The “Remember Me” checkbox is a sham. Also, with the same user ID, only one device can be connected at any point. You will have to repeat every step for your device when you leave the wifi network. According to the receptionist, the same user ID can be used for several devices. That is untrue.

My booking did not come with breakfast, but since this is a bed & café concept, I tried their Pancake and Eggs Benedict mains. Three slices of pancakes with several visual imperfections, but what matters was the taste. It came with jam, maple syrup and unsalted creamy butter. Tasted meh. The Eggs Benedict perched on two slices of toasted bread and delicious bacon came dressed with luscious hollandaise sauce and a potato side. Unfortunately, the eggs were not runny.

The first night was sound, but unadulterated horror rose with the sun. If you party or sleep late, pray for good neighbours or quiet housekeepers. Mornings were living nightmares; the soundproofing between rooms are non-existent. Toilet doors left half-open are prone to loud self-slamming. Microscopic tremors reverberated throughout the level. There were also occasional bouts of static and chatter from hotel walkie-talkie communication. Subsequent weekdays were quieter with lesser or newer, more considerate guests.

The bedsheets and duvet went unchanged for 4 days despite activating the make-up call or requesting for a change over two mornings with the receptionist. I uncovered this no thanks to a mark on the corner of the pillowcase and another on the bed sheet. They remained there day after day. Sheets only straightened, pillows returned to their original positions, blanket lazily folded—not tucked—to fit the height and width of each bed. Abhorrent.

The hotel management made a quick service recovery on the fifth morning after lodging a formal complaint. Props to that. Clean linens, clean floors. Housekeeping also returned the 2 origamis onto the bed. The shampoo and shower gel were finally filled to the brim. They all were below the 3-quarter mark during check-in. Housekeeping left a new roll of toilet paper on the ledge when the one in the holder was running out. I had replaced it myself, which was fine by me, but the next day they took credit with a triangle-fold.

Take the stairs from the seventh floor to the eighth for laundry. Two washing machines and two dryers. They cost 30THB (48 minutes) and 10THB (10 minutes for each run) respectively. The wash comes with complimentary laundry detergent.

I’m conflicted. Kokotel runs on several concepts. One, of a communal experience when there was none to be had. Another, a proclamation of a “newly developed bed & café concept” when other accommodations with bed & breakfast—like Phrakhun House, Ayutthaya—scattered across Thailand already exist. Finally, it prides itself with good hospitality and quality (of service, I believe). Every receptionist was warm and had a pretty good command of English, but the housekeeping service is less than desirable.

One thing that the Kokotel-group has gotten right is that it is for “active people”. A walk to the hotel earns you a stay at a modern haven away from the bustle of the main roads. Will I return? If you need a short respite and are not a light-sleeper, this is the place for you.